Colorado Needs This, Umm, Helpline Now More Than Ever

This toll-free helpline is still around, and those of us in Colorado need it desperately. Call this hotline immediately if inflation, fuel costs, or any other nightmare you may be enduring has given you a case of the blues.

As near as I can tell, this helpline has been in service for more than ten years. Fortunately for us, it's still active, and operators, or in this case, an operator, stand by to assist.

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The Timing Couldn't Be Better

Everyone I know is at home right now with COVID. I would be happy to bring them dinner or any medicine they might need, but to be frank, I probably couldn't afford the gasoline to get me there. Even if it were possible, there's a 50 percent chance the restaurant would be closed because no one showed up to work.

What's needed now is this miraculous hotline. This is the ultimate distraction. We're blessed to have this option when aspirin and a smoke break will no longer do.

Call Now - Robotic Operator Is Standing By

A quick phone call to 719-266-2837 is all you need. When you call this toll-free number, you'll be greeted by an automated voice with a British accent stating, "Welcome to the Callin' Oates, your emergency Hall and Oates helpline."

No doubt you remember Daryl Hall and John Oates, the pop super-duo from the 1970s and 80s.

From here, you'll be prompted to make one of four selections. Each option correlates to a popular Hall and Oates song. Your selections include:

Once selected, sit back and enjoy a relaxing, albeit tinny and extremely mid-range, performance by Daryl Hall and John Oates.

Trivia: The duo never liked being referred to as Hall and Oates. Look at their albums, and you'll see the proper name for the duo was Daryl Hall & John Oates, sometimes even eliminating the "&" and going with Daryl Hall John Oates.

This Is Why You Should Call The Hotline Immediately

Why is this a good thing? According to Very Well Mind, "During times when we are barraged with economic, social, political, and health problems, it's wise to turn to a not-so-obvious way to protect ourselves. The myriad of health benefits of humor and laughter are wide-reaching."

Did I mention it's completely free? No credit card is needed. When was the last time you received something for free?

Granted, you could easily log on to Youtube at any time and watch the videos for any of these four songs. That's not the point. This is a hotline, and it's here to serve you. I've called it four times in the last 30 minutes.